Relationship Counselling
Healing relationships is my passion.
I have researched and treated many aspects of human relationships during my practice and studies. My doctoral research investigated adult attachment styles and conflict resolution in couples. I have worked for many years in relationship counselling in various organisations as well as my private practice. I currently work entirely in private practice.
I have a special interest in human relationships of all kinds: at home, in the work place and in friendship groups. I enjoy working with couples in particular. Through my work I often see the depth of heartache a malfunctioning relationship creates transformed into contentment and joy as couples develop a well functioning partnership. This benefits the individuals within the relationship as well as those around it, such as children and extended family.
What I offer is a diagnostic view of relationships. The sessions do not focus solely on problem-solving, rather I seek to identify the underlying repetitive cycles that disrupt and derail the relationship. These patterns are usually the reason couples get into gridlock and feel very stuck. In most cases, this work will greatly improve a couple’s understanding and enjoyment of one another, and sense of intimacy, providing something much more valuable than merely the removal of the problem. Participating in this process of growth and change with couples is one of the greatest rewards of my work.
Often there is a sense that if the relationship is "right" it should just magically work. However, what this notion fails to take into account is that there are many basic relationship skills which are necessary in order to adapt and grow in a long term relationship. Not everybody has learned these skills in their developmental years and therefore will struggle to find harmonious ways to live in a close, yet interdependent style with their partner. The goal is to feel free to be fully yourself as well as feel close within your relationship.
In order to work on a relationship it is very useful to have all people involved attend the sessions, however I have worked successfully with many clients in individual sessions on improving their relationship. The guiding principle is: if one part of a relationship changes it usually has the power to create change of some sort in other parts. Although it is impossible to change another person, particularly in their absence, it is possible to learn to interact differently and thereby change the dynamic in the relationship.
So even if you cannot attend with your partner there are many good strategies to be explored that will benefit you individually and may create changes in unhealthy relating patterns.
Please look at the Useful Resources page for the books I think make a good start in learning about healthy relationships.
